I downloaded Tinder on a day of weakness. I was peer pressured into it. Several people had told me that I ought to give it a shot (since, really, nothing else was working). So on a lunch break, my friend sat by my side and helped me create my account. Tender Tinder moments. #tinderiffic
And I began to swipe.
I began to match with people.
And shockingly, I began to chat with people.
My first Tinder date was a lunch date. I hastily told my roommate a bit before that I was going on a Tinder date and that if I didn't come back or contact her in an hour and a half that I was probably dead and she should call the police.
The dude and I had chatted for just a few days on the Tinder app. He seemed to be a normal-type person, but you just never know.
We met up at the restaurant and I congratulated myself on a job well done when he indeed looked like his profile picture. Within 10 minutes of meeting up with each other, we established about 10 different connections. I had gone on a date with one of his old roommates. I had worked with his old branch president. My friend was dating his roommate. And two friends had tried to set me up with his other roommate, who I had messaged to get to know and who had (rudely, in my opinion) never messaged me back (I'm not a creeper even if my actions seem like I am, ok?). By that time, I knew the guy was a legit "good guy", but I was freaked out enough about our connections that although our date was good, I was convinced he would never ask me out again.
But he did. And we actually dated for a while until everything crashed and burned and ended in a pile of hopeless rubble, which is really the only exciting way to end a relationship. All jokes aside, he was a good, upstanding guy. Who I hope doesn't read my blog anymore.
Before and after we dated, I went out with a few other Tinder guys as well. Again, good, upstanding guys. Really great guys in fact. So great that I wondered why they were on Tinder, but then I remembered that I was also on Tinder, and I'm pretty cool, right? So cool people are on Tinder, right?
Anyway, all the roommates and half my friends at some point have played the game. Some have gone out with some real doozies and some have gone out with some winners. Some have married or are getting married to their Tinder dates. #tinderella #tindermagic
A bit ago, I matched with a seemingly normal guy. He messaged me and said, "Let's get the most important thing out of the way, what is your favorite sushi?"
I responded, "Haha, I've only ever had sushi twice, so I couldn't really tell you."
"Ok, what other food do you like?"
"Pretty much anything...although seafood is my least favorite, so that might explain the lack of sushi knowledge."
The next day, he blocked me from his account.
Geez, sorry about the sushi, man.
After a series of those kind of conversations, I gradually played the swipe game less and less until one day at lunch, I sat with my friends, and ceremoniously deleted the app.
Online dating: 2
I've heard third time's the charm. Stay tuned.